Yep, my husband and I are those ones… the couple with a joint Facebook account. Some people laugh & make fun of it but I don’t care. It was what we want, it is what makes us happy and it is our choice!
For us, it works & I believe having a shared Facebook account can help a lot of marriages. Especially when your past has taken you down many different roads (as ours has). But when you get married, other people can influence your marriage for better & for worse and I would rather safeguard my marriage then risk the “for worse.”
My husband and I have both been married before, we have both dated other people & flirted with other people… so we decided when we were dating we would close our individual Facebook accounts & combine accounts when we got married. Neither of us had any other social media accounts nor we do now (that isn’t for business purposes)… we just weren’t & aren’t interested. Does that make us weird?! To us, it’s a way for us to not be so caught up in more screen time, more electronics, more reasons to pick up the phone which all tends to pull people away from each other (not always… but I see it a lot).
So we did it! We made a joint Facebook account believing that it will be better for our marriage. And we have gotten to know each other more by doing this because when we add a friend or family member we talk about who it is & how we know them.
Here are a few reasons why we wanted a joint account & why a joint social media account might be good for your marriage:
We don’t trust other people. Terrible, I know… but I don’t trust people. A joint account says “don’t mess with us because if you try to start something with one of us… the other WILL know!”
We are a team. Yes, we are our own individuals & respect that but it shows to others and to us that we are in this together. We are creating a life together (which is hard to do in a marriage & especially when you’re blending families) so whatever we would share on an individual page we can share on a joint page. This also shows that his friends are my friends & vice versa.
Lastly… now more than ever, affairs are a real problem to marriages and many have started with Facebook or other social media. Even just friendly chatting can be a slippery slope and hit the bottom quick…. then people look back and think… ‘how did I get here?’
I do not believe my husband will ever cheat on me & he trusts that I won’t as well but why not just do a simple safeguard because many people have said they wouldn’t ever have an affair or never planned to cheat on their spouse. It happens.
We all have our own opinions when it comes to a joint Facebook account for couples or whatever shared social media account. I don’t see there to be a right way or a wrong way as long as there is honesty & openness. Each couple needs to do what is best for them and their relationship.
I do know though from personal & professional experience… if your marriage is going through a rough patch, is having issues with trust, or problems with other individuals creating difficulty in your marriage & Facebook or other social media is a sore topic… it’s worth it to have a joint account or just delete your accounts. I know there are concerns about losing a sense of your independence but you can still have that in a healthy marriage & do this if it means repairing your relationship.
It’s up to you and your spouse if you think a joint Facebook account or other shared social media accounts would be better for your marriage or not. If it’s something either of you have considered or tried to talk about, write down why you think it would be good for your marriage & the reasons you want to do it. Then go over what you’ve written down together (using healthy communication skills) and make a decision you both feel comfortable with.
I’d love to hear more ideas on how a joint social media account(s) is working for you & why it is good for your marriage!